No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
