Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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