Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
