wakey wakey hands off snakey
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
