I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
