You're a womanizer and a bitch.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
