i already hear my dad disowning me
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
drinking out of a sandbucket again
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
