ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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