I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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