my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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