Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
