help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
