I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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