sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you win again, gameday.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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