I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
The adults are the big ones right?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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