Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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