Don't you send me to vm
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
