she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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