ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
