Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
