Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
