I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
vagina is talking i cant
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
