Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
two words...techno handjob
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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