On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
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I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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