i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
