I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
