lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
we're so committed to being not committed
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
