my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
