She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
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