i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
