How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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