I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
