You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Randomize
