So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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