im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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