Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Can I color on your dick again?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
