is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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