he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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