That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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