Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
found the other keg... it's in the tree
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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