.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
