Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
