I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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