Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
