bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
this must be what syphilis tastes like
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
