I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
