Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
