Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
