i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
