Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
