no, he came in my armpit
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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