he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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