No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
