am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
PANTIES FOUND
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