he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
