"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
