it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
