he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Terrible idea I love it
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
