Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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