Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
