I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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