I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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