is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
