Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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