apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize