My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
